2675 replies to this topic

[andrei041]

tu pe care nu il vezi?

Ce sa vad?

Aceasta postare a fost editata de andrei041: 12 octombrie 2010 - 05:02

[Forester]

Kinderu', relax, toti suntem homalai...

[masterblaster]

rezistenta ii futila

[andrei041]

Love is in the air ...

[oaspetele]

baa, unii sunt doar latenti.

[ska]

[Swiby]

LIMBA GERMANA

Limba germana este simpla. O persoana cunoscatoare a limbii latine si obisnuita cu declinarile o învata fara mari dificultati. Profesorii de germana spun acest lucru la începutul fiecarui ciclu de studii. Se trece apoi la initierea în der, die, das, den, des, dem etc. si din nou se reaminteste ca tot restul este de o logica elementara.
Ca sa ilustram aceste afirmatii, sa luam un exemplu practic.
Pentru început, sa deschidem Manualul de Limba Germana. Este un volum minunat, cu coperte cartonate, publicat la Dortmund si care povesteste despre obiceiurile hotentotilor (în germana: Hottentotten - observati cat e de simplu !).
În carte se relateaza cum cangurii (Beutelratten) sunt prinsi si închisi în custi (Kotter), acoperite cu o tesatura (Lattengitter) care sa-i fereasca de ploi. Aceste custi se numesc în germana 'custi acoperite cu panza' (Lattengitterkotter) si, atunci cand contin un cangur, ele sunt numite Lattengitterkotterbeutelratten.
Într-o zi, hotentotii au arestat un asasin (Attentater), acuzat ca ar fi omorît o mama (Mutter) hotentota (Hottentottenmutter), avand un fiu cam prostut si balbait (Stottertrottel). O astfel de femeie se numeste, în germana, Hottentottenstottertrottelmutter, iar asasinul ei este un Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterattentater.
Politia îl prinde pe asasin si îl inchide provizoriu într-o cusca pentru canguri (Beutelrattenlattengitterkotter ), dar captivul evadeaza. Imediat, toti pleaca în cautarea fugarului si, deodata, un razboinic hotentot se întoarce strigand:
-Am prins asasinul (Attentater) !
-Da ? Care ?, întreaba seful de trib.
-Pe Lattengitterkotterbeutelratterattentater, raspunde razboinicul.
-Cum adica, asasinul din cusca de canguri acoperita cu panza ? întreaba seful hotentotilor.
-Pai, raspunde bastinasul, pe Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterattentater (Asasinul mamei hotentote a copilului prostut si balbait).
-A, asa, da ! raspunde seful hotentotilor. Puteai sa zici de la început ca l-ai prins pe:
Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterlattengitterkotterbeutelrattenattentater.
Dupa cum vedeti, limba germana este o limba simpla
Trebuie sa aveti doar un dram de bunavointa...

[ska]

ce-o sa-i placa bancul asta lui oaspete

[Relu]

[ska]

inca una pentru oaspete

[Forester]

Isn't she cute... but she's WROOOOOONG!

Aceasta postare a fost editata de Forester: 15 octombrie 2010 - 09:31

[pejte]

[Forester]

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ....... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa Beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

[ska]

GENIALI !

[Monitor_R]

De mult am cautat o explicatie a ABSului pe intelesul tuturor!

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[Swiby]

FF interesant cum apar unele glume la cateva minute dupa ce le trimit pe mail...

[Monitor_R]

HA, HA...

Nu le mai trimite pe mail!

[Swiby]

Gata, am gasit ezplicatia.

[adytzu]

Pana una alta...






Bah...sa nu va aud ca nu reciclati corect de acum incolo, da? Mai ales la Pseudo-intalnirile nationale.

[Grinch]

Imi place aia cu Android vs Apple

[Monitor_R]

Atentie la ora la care veniti acasa, or not...!!!!

[Forester]

Politist american patriot rau de tot...

Aceasta postare a fost editata de Forester: 20 octombrie 2010 - 03:30

[ska]

[Monitor_R]

Nu mai pot de ras...
In Libertatea

[Forester]

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